The flyscreen

Pedro Freitas Silva

Then, yes, I have the impression that the world stopped when I looked at that, and I only returned to reality when it left through the flyscreen. In fact, as I looked at the unknown, I experienced a feeling of absolute silence. Everything happened so fast, and more than anyone else, I will regret being unable to answer to all the details that elude me.

A. dos S. D.

The flyscreen is a title borrowed from observations and texts written by A. dos S.D. The archive, dated from between 1970 and 1990, illustrates his difficulty finding necessary demonstrations of evidence for events that took place on a mountain range named Gardunha, in central-east Portugal. The location is one of the most aged and least densely populated areas in Portugal — and increasingly more so as younger generations continue to move to urban centres.

The project interrogates a small rural community in Portugal and its relationship with fictional and imaginary events. It aims to question the unfathomable of the cosmic domain and photography’s inability to fully capture truth behind visual representations.

The name Gardunha is a word of Arabic etymology, meaning refuge. The making of this series provided a shield to find solace and to retreat from the tangible. It was a place to rupture with the Real, and to create a coalition and an interplay between fact and fiction. The flyscreen operates as a curtain that splits two different domains, yet it simultaneously allows their fusion.

From August 1979 onwards, I had expressed my intention to stop delivering copies of my reports, not due to conflicts with anyone, but rather for reasons that I myself cannot explain, although all of this may seem absurd.

Desde Agosto de 1979 que eu manifestara o propósito de cessar a entrega de cópias dos meus relatórios, não por incompatibilidade com alguém, mas por motivos que eu próprio não os sei explicar, embora tudo isto possa parecer absurdo.

Due to the volume of strange events that occurred from time to time, mainly, from 1975 onwards, I am concerned about the convenience of their subsequent publication, even to people I consider friends and trustworthy. This fear is based on the lack of real evidence that I should present as a justification for these unusual manifestations (…)

Pelo volume dos acontecimentos estranhos que surgiram de quando em quando e sobretudo, de 1975 a esta parte, deixam-me preocupado quanto à conveniência da sua posterior divulgação, mesmo para com as pessoas que considero amigas e dignas de confiança. Este receio baseia-se na falta de provas reais que deveria apresentar como justificação dessas manifestações insólitas (…)

This work of mine is not groundbreakingly original when it comes to the subject exposed; nevertheless, for me, it contains a significantly high value for the events it narrates, resulting from direct and reckless actions, which transported me to an unexpected situation, from which, quite frankly I have no idea how I will get out.

Este meu trabalho não sendo novidade de maior por parte do assunto exposto, ele para mim contém um alto valor significativo pelos acontecimentos que encerra, resultantes de acção directa e imprudente, que me transportou a um ponto inesperado, que francamente não sei como de lá sairei.

My conscience dictated me not to inquire about this case around the neighbourhood, not to alarm them; it would be better for them to carry on believing in divine warnings from God’s wrath. And aren’t they right?

A consciência ditava-me que não indagasse este caso na vizinhança para os não alarmar, preferindo que vivam na crença em avisos divinos das zangas de Deus. E não terão eles razão?

I tried to forget this strange feeling, looking away and steering my mind in a different direction, but it didn’t work, and, therefore, I retreated to my room hoping that sleeping would help. It took me a while to fall asleep and, in fact, I probably got very little sleep because, in the late-night hours, I felt awake with the image of the vision still engraved in my mind, followed by the strange feeling of dispiritedness. I asked myself, why were the dogs barking and howling so much (…)?

Tentei esquecer esta sensação estranha, desviando o olhar e o pensamento para rumo diferente, mas não resultara e por isso, recolhi ao quarto na esperança que dormindo talvez tivesse mais sorte. Tardei em adormecer e mesmo o que dormira, de certo que fora tão pouco, porque a altas horas da noite, senti-me acordado com a imagem da visão ainda retida na mente acompanhada da estranha sensação de abatimento. Interrogava-me a mim próprio, porque tanto ladraram e uivaram os cães (…)?

(…) Across my entire body, I was feeling an enormous tingling, chills, and a strong pressure in my chest that made it difficult for me to breathe as if invisible hands were tightening it.

(…) eu sentia em todo o corpo, um enorme formigueiro, arrepios e forte pressão no peito que me dificultava a respiração como se mãos invisíveis mo apertassem.

In fact, everything took place very naturally, leaving for posterity an emptiness as if nothing had happened at the top of the mountain.

Na verdade, tudo se processou com a maior das naturalidades, deixando para a posteridade o vazio como se ali no alto da montanha nada se tivesse passado.

I’m getting used to this physical/mental depression (…)

Começo a não estranhar esta depressão físico/mental (…)

In fact, the phenomenon plays hide and seek with us due to our imaginative inability (…)

Na verdade, o fenómeno brinca connosco às escondidas por incapacidade imaginativa (…)

(…) As time went by without any satisfactory results, I felt this exhaustive search of mine falling into a disheartening frustration, for that it was wiser to return home.

(…) à medida que o tempo decorria sem obter qualquer resultado satisfatório, sentia que esta minha exaustiva procura caía em desanimadora frustração, por isso era mais sensato recolher a casa.

What was your mood,
When you looked up at the sky?
My friend… nothing exists,
Of what you have seen!

Que espirito era o teu,
Quando olhavas o céu?
Meu amigo… nada existe,
Daquilo que tu viste!

Honestly, this is all very strange to me, and more than anyone, I deeply regret my inability to find the main end of a string shattered into a thousand pieces.

Sinceramente, tudo isto para mim é muito estranho, e mais do que ninguém eu lamento profundamente a incapacidade da minha parte para encontrar a ponta principal de um cordel quebrado em vários lados.

(…) he called his mother over to see the ‘thing,’ but she refused, afraid of what she might see.

(…) chamou pela mãe para que visse a “coisa,” mas ela recusara com receio do que iria ver.

I am deeply sorry for how startled Mr. Pedro was and the alarm that he unjustifiably caused in the others. It only comes to prove that his spirit is not yet prepared to believe in the existing reality. He should have thought, in the first place, of exchanging views with the people involved in the vision that he, quite fairly, should be thankful for having taken part in a very exceptional opportunity, instead of immediately raising the doubts that invaded his mind.

Lamento profundamente o sobressalto do Sr. Pedro e o alarme que sem justificação causou nos outros e com isto, só prova que o espírito dele ainda não está preparado para acreditar numa realidade existente. Deveria ter pensado em primeiro lugar, trocar impressões com as pessoas envolvidas na visão que ele, muito justamente deveria dar graças por ter assistido a uma oportunidade deveras excepcional, em vez de levantar de imediato a dúvida que lhe invadiu a mente.

Then, yes, I have the impression that the world stopped when I looked at that, and I only returned to reality when it left through the flyscreen. In fact, as I looked at the unknown, I experienced a feeling of absolute silence. Everything happened so fast, and more than anyone else, I will regret being unable to answer to all the details that elude me.

Aí sim, tenho a impressão que o mundo parara quando olhei para aquilo e somente voltei à realidade, logo que ele saíra através da rede mosquiteira. De facto, quando olhava o desconhecido, dera-me uma sensação de silêncio absoluto. Tudo fora tão rápido e mais do que ninguém, lamentarei o não saber responder a todos os pormenores que me escaparam.

Are there imperfections in the contexture of my reports? I own such imperfections and sincerely acknowledge the poverty of my intellectual resources that prevent me from making them better. Alas, I’m so sorry that it has to be like that, and it is heart-breaking not knowing how to put on paper everything that my eyes have observed (…)

Existem imperfeições na contextura dos meus relatórios? Admito-as e sinceramente reconheço a pobreza dos meus recursos intelectuais para melhor compô-los. Pena tenho que assim seja e desgosta-me imenso o não saber transcrever para o papel, tudo aquilo que os meus olhos observaram (…)